Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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