oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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