Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
