I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize