I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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