I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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