Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
