..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
