so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
