Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
