Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
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