Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
please come you make the beer taste better
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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