Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
