How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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