i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
