just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
And then he peed in my hair
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