I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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