bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
