you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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