She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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