I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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