Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
