she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
