everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
