just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Randomize
