I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
not ubering you a puppy
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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