we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
