i will never coherently bang her
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
