Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
