Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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