420 ftw
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I love having hate sex.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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