"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
