Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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