I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
