When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
