Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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