She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
