WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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