in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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