No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
