the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
