O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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