i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
