I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
