hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
