Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
