If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
