Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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