are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
