Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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