so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
