I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
