I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
