I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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