Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
