Just cropdusted the office
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
