I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
