I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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